Archives for March 2022

Categories: Lifestyle, Money, Personal, Shopping

Let’s Talk About Money!

The other day, I opened up on my Instagram stories about my relationship and struggles with money, ending by asking for advice and recommendations to get better. I received over 50 DMs and recommendations (which might have been my most ever), as well as just a ton of support and messages about people in similar situations to mine. People asked me a few times to share the advice I received, and a couple suggested a blog post, so here we are!

About My Relationship with Money

How I Was Raised with Money

My relationship with money is complicated, to say the least. I was raised by a single mom who worked retail for basically most of my life up until the pandemic closed the store she worked at. If you’ve ever worked retail, then you know it’s not exactly a lucrative field, especially if you aren’t in management (which my mother was not). Because of this, I grew up without a lot of money. We never had to go without food or clothing, but we did have to shop at thrift stores (way before it became a trendy thing) and grocery shop at the cheaper stores.

I was really aware of money from a young age. We very rarely went to restaurants, and if we did, we weren’t allowed to order any drink other than water and had to eat off the kids menu. There were times I couldn’t go to the grocery store with my mom because she didn’t want to have to tell me “No” when I asked for snacks and extra food we couldn’t afford. I watched my mom struggle to pay medical bills and credit card debt. She had no savings or retirement money set aside, and for a long chunk of my life (including right now), no medical insurance either.

All of this is to say that I didn’t grow up with good money habits modeled for me at home.

My Current Money Situation

When I got my first full-time job out of college, I was 1. Making basically the same amount that my mom did at her highest point and 2. Really unaware of how to manage that money. In the spirit of honesty, I’ll go ahead and give salary details because I fully believe in transparency (and I’d be happy to discuss this further via DMs if you’re interested!), but I made $42K per year at my old job.

I was spending a large portion of this on rent. I lived alone in an expensive city because I moved during fall of 2020 and just did not want to deal with roommates potentially bringing home COVID. Because of that, I spent way too much on rent (pretty much half my paychecks), then the rest went to whatever I wanted. I had no budget and basically bought anything because I figured, “I have a stable job, so I’m fine!”

Reader, I was not fine! I didn’t save and still racked up credit card debt.

Then, when I started my current job, that came with a nice salary bump. Now I make $60K per year, which I’m extremely grateful for. I love my job so much, and the fact that I’m paid a good salary is a privilege I’m so happy to have. I’m no longer spending half my paycheck on rent! I have extra money!

So when I got this new job, I thought, “Hey, I made it work before on a lot smaller salary. Now, I’m making more so I can spend more!” I was also spending less on rent because I live with another person now. However, I still wasn’t saving or investing. I’ve been at this job for almost six months now, and I still find myself in the same position I was in at my old one: desperately waiting for payday and struggling to make ends meet.

Where I Am Now

I make enough money from my job to cover my needs, as well as savings and some wants! However, I’m having a lot of trouble doing that at the moment. I was never taught how to spend and save responsibly. I’d like to pay off the credit card debt that I have. I want to stop impulse shopping. When my next pay period comes around, I want to be in a place where I still have a decent amount of money in the bank. I’d like to quit acting like being a shopaholic with credit card debt is some cute and quirky little personality trait because it’s not. Luckily, I’ve gotten some great advice on how to do these things that I’ll share below!

But before I do that, I want to touch on something first regarding influencers. I am a nanoinfluencer, which is even smaller than a microinfluencer. My following isn’t super big, so I don’t do a lot of brand deals. I also don’t really get paid for what I post. This is okay with me! I’m doing this as a hobby, with no desire to turn it into a full-time job. All of my income comes from my full-time job. I get gifted items from time to time, but I’ve never done a paid sponsorship. I’m well aware that I probably could, but I don’t want this to feel like real work so I won’t.

Now, a lot of influencers, especially those with larger followings, are not the same way. It may seem like they’re sharing new things every single day because many of them are. I have to remind myself that in many of these cases, at least one of these things is probably true: 1. This person probably got sent that item for free, or they may even be getting paid to promote it, 2. They may come from generational wealth and could have family money or a trust fund to back them up (nothing wrong or disingenuous about this, but it’s just not my situation!), or 3. They could be racking up debt behind the scenes to afford the lifestyle they’re posting about (it really happens).

Those are all things I like to tell myself when I feel FOMO from seeing hauls or new items on Instagram or TikTok, and I hope they’re helpful to you too! A bit of perspective really goes a long way.

Money Advice & Resources

When I put out a call for money advice, y’all came through with the recommendations. I couldn’t keep track of where everything came from, especially resources that were mentioned by multiple people. However, if there’s a specific piece of advice that you gave me and want credited to you (especially in the General Advice section), please let me know and I’d be happy to give credit where credit is due.

Books to Read

Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together by Erin Lowry
Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties by Beth Kobliner
I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth by Sally Palaian

People to Follow

Instagram

TikTok

Blogs and Websites

YouTube

Podcasts

The Financial Confessions
Financial Feminist
Girls That Invest
She’s On The Money

Other Resources

The #DebtFreeCommunity hashtag (this is great to follow to find other people and stay focused)
Talk About Money Facebook group
Banks that hold financial literacy classes (apparently lots of them do this)
Ibotta app
Mint app

General tips and advice

Set a budget and stick to it. Make note of where your money is going by logging your purchases in a spreadsheet.
Your goals need to be concrete and specific. Instead of just wanting to save more, say “I want to save $X by the end of the year.”
When you get your paychecks, pay yourself first with savings and investing. Automating this really helps!
Don’t cut yourself off cold turkey. Instead, give yourself a set amount of spending money for the month.
You can have anything you want but not everything. (This was one of my personal favorite pieces of advice that really put things into perspective for me!)
Unlink your cards from Apple Pay and PayPal.
Do a no spend challenge for a month, a few weeks, etc.
You don’t have to cut out all excess spending. You can choose to budget and spend money on things that truly make you happy, not just spend money on anything you want. Be intentional about what you purchase instead of buying just because.
Give yourself fair budgets for things like clothes and travel (stuff you like) so you feel justified in spending on them instead of guilty.
Create a wishlist and organize it by season. Don’t purchase anything that’s out of season.
It can be easier for some people to work backwards with saving so instead of a budget, try an aggressive savings goal and you can spend whatever is leftover after you’ve contributed to that.
Put anything you want on a list and think about it for at least a week until you can actually buy it.

Specific Changes I’m Going to Make

Again, a big thank you to anyone who gave me the advice I shared above. Anytime I’ve done this research in the past, I quickly became overwhelmed by what’s out there, so I’m extremely grateful to learn what’s worked for real people. Here are some of the things I’m going to adopt in my life based on what I’ve learned so far:

Actually setting a budget for myself once I get my next paycheck: In the past, I’d basically get paid, pay my rent and other bills, then spend whatever was leftover. I’ve heard a lot about the 50-30-20 rule where you spend 50% of your income on needs, 30% on wants, and 20% on savings. This seems like a good place for me to start, although I might switch it to 30% savings and 20% wants.
Stop using my credit cards until they’re paid off: Self-explanatory. I want to stop accruing interest on them, pay them off in full, and then learn to use them to my advantage (hello, cash back and points).
No more payment plans: I’ve been really bad about using the Afterpay or Affirm or other split payment options when shopping online. If I don’t have enough money to pay for something now, I’m going to start saving for it instead of just delaying the money coming out now.
Take inventory of my clothes, get rid of stuff I don’t wear, and adopt a “one in, one out” rule: Clothes are probably the number one thing I spend my money on. My closet is overflowing, and sometimes I even get embarrassed by how many clothing items I have. I’m going to stop holding onto things I’ve never worn (or worn just one time). I’m already in the process of doing a huge closet clean-out on Poshmark. I’ve also decided that if I’m going to buy new items, I have to get rid of something first because I truly feel that I have enough clothes.

If you’ve read this far, I’m really impressed and want to say thanks! I hope these tips can help some of y’all out as well because we all deserve to have enough money to live on (and this is a nice reminder that we really should increase the minimum wage). Also, one last thing before I sign off: I am extremely thrilled with how many women-founded and women-run resources are on this list! Money is NOT just for men!

Follow along!
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Categories: Fashion & Style, Shopping

An Updated Hill House Home & Nap Dress Review and Guide (with try-ons and a discount code!)

Disclaimer: Items linked in this post may be affiliate links. This means that if you make a purchase, I might make a small commission. This comes at no additional cost to you, and the money I make helps me keep this blog up and running!

Last summer, after buying my first Nap Dress, I wrote a blog post reviewing it. I think it’s actually my most-read blog post ever. Since then, my Nap Dress collection has grown quite a bit. I wear a Nap Dress at least once a week (usually more). I own… quite a few of them.

Why I Love The Nap Dress

It’s clear that I love Nap Dresses. I’m not sponsored by Hill House (a girl can dream though), but I promote these dresses like I am. Why? Well, here are a few reasons I love them:

They’re super comfy. I can wear one all day long without getting uncomfortable. I actually have taken a nap in one before. The smocking and flowy silhouettes provide the ultimate balance of both style and comfort.
The quality is great. I love the fabrics and feel of all the Nap Dresses I own. I’ve only had an issue with an item once (which I’ll get too next), and nothing else since. And I wear these items often. Also, for the most part, they’re machine washable and easy to care for!
Their customer service rocks. Like I said above, I’ve only had an issue with an item once. A top I bought from them had a seam at the sleeve coming apart. I emailed customer service about it, and they quickly apologized, sent me a replacement, and provided me with a shipping label to return the defective one. They’re also extremely responsive on Instagram, both in DMs and in the comments on their posts.
They’re versatile. I’ve worn my Nap Dresses to work. I graduated college in a Nap Dress. I celebrated getting my job in a Nap Dress. I’ve worn them to weddings, in the winter and the summer. They’re easy to make casual or dressy. Do I need to go on?
It’s a woman-founded and -owned company. I love supporting women and female entrepreneurship!!! Hill House’s founder, Nell Diamond, is so freaking cool. She’s a working mom of precious children. She’s unapologetic about how girly, frilly style does not mean you shouldn’t be taken seriously in a professional environment (something I definitely appreciate). Also, she votes Dem (evidence here, here, and here), so obviously I support that. She’s been super kind when I’ve interacted with her through DMs, so I’m kind of obsessed with her and kinda want to be her when I grow up.
There’s such a kind community of fellow Nap Dress wearers. I’ve been blown away by how amazing Nap Dress Nation is. I’m in a few Facebook groups for it, and I’ve actually made some friends through it!
They. Added. Pockets. For a while, this was a lot of people’s main complaint. In Hill House’s most recent drop, they gave the people what they wanted. Their dresses now have pockets, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it!

Need I go on? I probably could forever. But in the interest of time, I’ll spare you the details. Let’s get into the review.

Discount Code

If you’re already convinced, I’ll go ahead and throw in my promo link. I am not being paid to promote this; anyone can do it. If you use this link to make your first Hill House Home purchase, you’ll get 20% off! I’ll also get a coupon for $20 off a purchase of mine. It’s a win-win for both of us!

Sizing

As I’m sure many of y’all can relate, women’s sizing tends to be pretty inconsistent. Typically, I’m either a small or medium and I can range from a size 2 to a size 6 depending on the brand and garment. However, I’m usually a size 2/4 and more often a small than a medium. I have a relatively small chest and I’m more bottom-heavy. My bra size is 32A, and I usually wear a 28 in jeans. As for height, I’m about 5’5″, although I do love wearing heels!

I take an XS in most of my Hill House dresses. I’ll be posting try-on photos and sizing below of all my items, though, and please don’t hesitate to ask me questions! I’ve found that in general, Hill House tends to run larger and most people can get away with sizing down. The smocking and flowy, tiered silhouettes of a lot of their garments make it so the sizing is pretty forgiving.

Dress Types and Try Ons

The Ellie

The Ellie is the classic Nap Dress style. I recommend this as everyone’s first style. I wear an XS in this one, and it’s the style I have the most of. An XS is one size down from what I usually wear, and I do recommend going a size down in the Ellie for most people trying the Nap Dress for the first time, unless you have a larger bust, in which case I’ve heard some people take their normal size to compensate for that.

The Nesli

I would describe the Nesli as an Ellie, but with puff sleeves. To me, they’re super similar dresses, with the sleeves being the main difference. I wear the same size in this as I do with the Ellie, an XS. This may be one of my favorite silhouettes that Hill House makes. I think it’s super flattering, and it’s just a fun, comfy style.

The Athena

I find the Athena to be almost like a shorter Nesli, but with smaller sleeves. I wear my same Nesli and Ellie size in this one, an XS. It’s the perfect summertime dress since it’s short and light, but it’s easy to transition to colder weather with some tights.

The Ophelia

The Ophelia is a newer silhouette, and it’s one of my favs. The lower neckline is flirtier, but the puff sleeves and full skirt still feel feminine and girly to me. Hill House changed their sizing for this drop, but I panicked and got my usual Ellie size, XS. I probably could have done my usual small, and if I get another I likely will size up. However, the smocked back makes the Ophelia pretty forgiving, and I didn’t want to deal with an exchange, so I’m fine with the size I have.

The Ava

The Ava is yet another dress from the last drop with the sizing change. I got an XS in this one as well, and I think it’s perfect. I could maybe do a small because it’s tighter in the torso, but because my chest is smaller, I would probably be concerned about the chest being too big. The ruffle sleeves can be worn on or off the shoulder, and this style comes with a removable sash. Personally, I like it tied in a bow at the front!

The Caroline

I don’t have a photo in this one because it happened to be in the laundry machine while I was writing this. (Sorry!) I have one Caroline that I mainly wear as a nightgown, but I do still love it. It’s super comfy to sleep and lounge in. I wear an XS in this style and it’s perfect, even with the smocking around the neck. I like my pajamas to be loose and comfy, but even with sizing down from my usual, an XS is the best size for me. If you’ve shopped Hill House before, I recommend going with your Ellie size in this. It’s the ideal Victorian ghost type of nightgown, if that’s your vibe (and it totally is mine).

Nap Dress FAQs

What’s your favorite silhouette?

Probably the Ellie or Ophelia! I love the Ellie for it versatility since you can wear it to so many different occasions, but the Ophelia is super flattering and makes me feel like a princess.

What style do you recommend to new customers?

Hands down, get an Ellie. I truly believe they’re universally flattering and the styling possibilities are endless. I’ve never seen an Ellie on someone and thought “Oh, that dress just doesn’t look good on them.” If you don’t believe me, go to the tagged photos on Hill House’s Instagram! Everyone needs an Ellie.

Do they run TTS?

Like I said above, I find that Hill House tends to run large. Unless you have a large chest, I’d recommend sizing down from your usual size. If you have any questions, their website also has a size guide with each item and they’re super responsive via DM on Instagram!

Does Hill House only make dresses?

No! They make home items such as bedding and bath linens (hence the name Hill House Home), and they’ve been expanding into other clothing items beyond dresses. There have also been rumors about potentially making shoes too! Some of the other items of theirs I have are…

The Quilt Coat, which I own in 2 colors because I love it that much.
The Kit Top, aka the perfect white blouse.
The Bea Jacket and the Olivia Skirt, which are my ultimate fun power suit.

What’s next on your list?

I’m hoping to snag an Elizabeth in the next drop! It’s like a short version of the Ellie, so I think it’ll be perfect for summer.

Any other question that wasn’t addressed here…

DM me on Instagram! I’m always down to chat Nap Dresses.

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