The other day, I opened up on my Instagram stories about my relationship and struggles with money, ending by asking for advice and recommendations to get better. I received over 50 DMs and recommendations (which might have been my most ever), as well as just a ton of support and messages about people in similar situations to mine. People asked me a few times to share the advice I received, and a couple suggested a blog post, so here we are!
About My Relationship with Money
How I Was Raised with Money
My relationship with money is complicated, to say the least. I was raised by a single mom who worked retail for basically most of my life up until the pandemic closed the store she worked at. If you’ve ever worked retail, then you know it’s not exactly a lucrative field, especially if you aren’t in management (which my mother was not). Because of this, I grew up without a lot of money. We never had to go without food or clothing, but we did have to shop at thrift stores (way before it became a trendy thing) and grocery shop at the cheaper stores.
I was really aware of money from a young age. We very rarely went to restaurants, and if we did, we weren’t allowed to order any drink other than water and had to eat off the kids menu. There were times I couldn’t go to the grocery store with my mom because she didn’t want to have to tell me “No” when I asked for snacks and extra food we couldn’t afford. I watched my mom struggle to pay medical bills and credit card debt. She had no savings or retirement money set aside, and for a long chunk of my life (including right now), no medical insurance either.
All of this is to say that I didn’t grow up with good money habits modeled for me at home.
My Current Money Situation
When I got my first full-time job out of college, I was 1. Making basically the same amount that my mom did at her highest point and 2. Really unaware of how to manage that money. In the spirit of honesty, I’ll go ahead and give salary details because I fully believe in transparency (and I’d be happy to discuss this further via DMs if you’re interested!), but I made $42K per year at my old job.
I was spending a large portion of this on rent. I lived alone in an expensive city because I moved during fall of 2020 and just did not want to deal with roommates potentially bringing home COVID. Because of that, I spent way too much on rent (pretty much half my paychecks), then the rest went to whatever I wanted. I had no budget and basically bought anything because I figured, “I have a stable job, so I’m fine!”
Reader, I was not fine! I didn’t save and still racked up credit card debt.
Then, when I started my current job, that came with a nice salary bump. Now I make $60K per year, which I’m extremely grateful for. I love my job so much, and the fact that I’m paid a good salary is a privilege I’m so happy to have. I’m no longer spending half my paycheck on rent! I have extra money!
So when I got this new job, I thought, “Hey, I made it work before on a lot smaller salary. Now, I’m making more so I can spend more!” I was also spending less on rent because I live with another person now. However, I still wasn’t saving or investing. I’ve been at this job for almost six months now, and I still find myself in the same position I was in at my old one: desperately waiting for payday and struggling to make ends meet.
Where I Am Now
I make enough money from my job to cover my needs, as well as savings and some wants! However, I’m having a lot of trouble doing that at the moment. I was never taught how to spend and save responsibly. I’d like to pay off the credit card debt that I have. I want to stop impulse shopping. When my next pay period comes around, I want to be in a place where I still have a decent amount of money in the bank. I’d like to quit acting like being a shopaholic with credit card debt is some cute and quirky little personality trait because it’s not. Luckily, I’ve gotten some great advice on how to do these things that I’ll share below!
But before I do that, I want to touch on something first regarding influencers. I am a nanoinfluencer, which is even smaller than a microinfluencer. My following isn’t super big, so I don’t do a lot of brand deals. I also don’t really get paid for what I post. This is okay with me! I’m doing this as a hobby, with no desire to turn it into a full-time job. All of my income comes from my full-time job. I get gifted items from time to time, but I’ve never done a paid sponsorship. I’m well aware that I probably could, but I don’t want this to feel like real work so I won’t.
Now, a lot of influencers, especially those with larger followings, are not the same way. It may seem like they’re sharing new things every single day because many of them are. I have to remind myself that in many of these cases, at least one of these things is probably true: 1. This person probably got sent that item for free, or they may even be getting paid to promote it, 2. They may come from generational wealth and could have family money or a trust fund to back them up (nothing wrong or disingenuous about this, but it’s just not my situation!), or 3. They could be racking up debt behind the scenes to afford the lifestyle they’re posting about (it really happens).
Those are all things I like to tell myself when I feel FOMO from seeing hauls or new items on Instagram or TikTok, and I hope they’re helpful to you too! A bit of perspective really goes a long way.
Money Advice & Resources
When I put out a call for money advice, y’all came through with the recommendations. I couldn’t keep track of where everything came from, especially resources that were mentioned by multiple people. However, if there’s a specific piece of advice that you gave me and want credited to you (especially in the General Advice section), please let me know and I’d be happy to give credit where credit is due.
Books to Read
- Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together by Erin Lowry
- Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties by Beth Kobliner
- I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
- The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
- Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth by Sally Palaian
People to Follow
- @aunt.kara
- @beautiful.budget
- @blondebrokeandbougie
- @ellevest
- @fashion_jackson
- @financiallifocused
- @gingandhoney
- @girlsthatinvest
- @herfirst100k
- @her.personal.finance
- @mel_larson
- @moneywithkatie
- @mothersteachingmoney
- @mrsdowjones
- @savemycents
- @startwithapenny
- @stylethislife
- @the.budget.blonde
- @thefinancialdiet
- @theLAMinimalist
TikTok
Blogs and Websites
YouTube
Podcasts
- The Financial Confessions
- Financial Feminist
- Girls That Invest
- She’s On The Money
Other Resources
- The #DebtFreeCommunity hashtag (this is great to follow to find other people and stay focused)
- Talk About Money Facebook group
- Banks that hold financial literacy classes (apparently lots of them do this)
- Ibotta app
- Mint app
General tips and advice
- Set a budget and stick to it. Make note of where your money is going by logging your purchases in a spreadsheet.
- Your goals need to be concrete and specific. Instead of just wanting to save more, say “I want to save $X by the end of the year.”
- When you get your paychecks, pay yourself first with savings and investing. Automating this really helps!
- Don’t cut yourself off cold turkey. Instead, give yourself a set amount of spending money for the month.
- You can have anything you want but not everything. (This was one of my personal favorite pieces of advice that really put things into perspective for me!)
- Unlink your cards from Apple Pay and PayPal.
- Do a no spend challenge for a month, a few weeks, etc.
- You don’t have to cut out all excess spending. You can choose to budget and spend money on things that truly make you happy, not just spend money on anything you want. Be intentional about what you purchase instead of buying just because.
- Give yourself fair budgets for things like clothes and travel (stuff you like) so you feel justified in spending on them instead of guilty.
- Create a wishlist and organize it by season. Don’t purchase anything that’s out of season.
- It can be easier for some people to work backwards with saving so instead of a budget, try an aggressive savings goal and you can spend whatever is leftover after you’ve contributed to that.
- Put anything you want on a list and think about it for at least a week until you can actually buy it.
Specific Changes I’m Going to Make
Again, a big thank you to anyone who gave me the advice I shared above. Anytime I’ve done this research in the past, I quickly became overwhelmed by what’s out there, so I’m extremely grateful to learn what’s worked for real people. Here are some of the things I’m going to adopt in my life based on what I’ve learned so far:
- Actually setting a budget for myself once I get my next paycheck: In the past, I’d basically get paid, pay my rent and other bills, then spend whatever was leftover. I’ve heard a lot about the 50-30-20 rule where you spend 50% of your income on needs, 30% on wants, and 20% on savings. This seems like a good place for me to start, although I might switch it to 30% savings and 20% wants.
- Stop using my credit cards until they’re paid off: Self-explanatory. I want to stop accruing interest on them, pay them off in full, and then learn to use them to my advantage (hello, cash back and points).
- No more payment plans: I’ve been really bad about using the Afterpay or Affirm or other split payment options when shopping online. If I don’t have enough money to pay for something now, I’m going to start saving for it instead of just delaying the money coming out now.
- Take inventory of my clothes, get rid of stuff I don’t wear, and adopt a “one in, one out” rule: Clothes are probably the number one thing I spend my money on. My closet is overflowing, and sometimes I even get embarrassed by how many clothing items I have. I’m going to stop holding onto things I’ve never worn (or worn just one time). I’m already in the process of doing a huge closet clean-out on Poshmark. I’ve also decided that if I’m going to buy new items, I have to get rid of something first because I truly feel that I have enough clothes.
If you’ve read this far, I’m really impressed and want to say thanks! I hope these tips can help some of y’all out as well because we all deserve to have enough money to live on (and this is a nice reminder that we really should increase the minimum wage). Also, one last thing before I sign off: I am extremely thrilled with how many women-founded and women-run resources are on this list! Money is NOT just for men!
Follow along!
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